My Page In Numbers

I know 2012 hasn’t ended quite yet, but whatever, I feel like making a small summary of what I’ve been posting on this personal web page so far! I got active and started posting stuff in January this year, and since then I have:

  • Almost 15 000 page views (can’t tell how many unique)
  • Busiest day was 17th of August with 622 views
  • A normal day I have around 30-70 views
  • I have published 132 posts all in all
  • 370 different tags

Busiest month is the month Junebud went bankrupt and Lydia from Mojang tweeted about some of my posts. It’s also the same month I wrote some of my most serious post about life and stuff I think about.

I’ve noticed the traffic my site gets it’s almost directly proportional to how much I tweet about it, or if I post about it on my personal Facebook (marketing is what it is). The reason I even started this page in the first place was to have my own corner of the Internet, where I got a chance to express myself, to share small pieces of my own life. I really feel it’s important to be in charge of your own name what shows up when someone googles you.

Next I’m gonna list the 5 most popular posts I’ve made in 2012. The views are “views dedicated to that post”. This means people clicked a link that showed only this post and not the whole web page. In most cases visitors land on my page because they have it book marked or google for something, and then just scroll down. Those views are not counted on any specific post.


The 5 Most Popular Posts of 2012:

5. “What I Came To Realize About So Called Female Magazines” with 106 views posted 10th ofJuly

femalemagThis post deals with what you really learn when reading all those crappy mags aimed to young women and girls. Those papers that tell you “you are awesome the way you are”, and on the next page they teach you how to loose 5 kilos in one week…no wonder so many young girls suffer from anxiety and poor self-image.


4. “Mindless Behavior Or How I Tried To Change My Life” with 144 views posted 1st of July


This post got written after I’ve realized I was not happy at all with how much time I spent online just doing nothing but wasting time.

My post about how I came to a point when I felt my life needed a change, is the 4th most popular post made 2012. I wrote it one late night while on summer vacation, on the Åland Islands in Finland. This post even got a response from the game journalist Beau Hindman at Massively. He wrote about if the Internet is ruining creativity and originality  What happens when we spend too much time consuming instead of creating. This is a topic that’s still important to me. As someone working with crafting computer games, and hanging out with plenty of gamers who play video games, I don’t think aggressive behavior is the most dangerous psychological effect of playing too much games (like 40 hours/week). I think what could be dangerous in the long run, is how passive games can actually make you. Since they tap into your brain and are made to make you want to spend just one more hour in front of the screen, many individuals could easily get trapped in front of a game for weeks, months or years. There’s nothing wrong with playing a good game of League of Legends every now and then, or to hang out on Skype with your guild mates a few nights a week, but I think it’s a troublesome situation when you might neglect your family, friends, getting enough sleep or exercise because you spend too much time in front of a computer playing games or browsing kittens.

I myself felt I was spending too much time doing something that didn’t made me happy or lucky or relaxed. Browsing crappy fashion blogs or Reddit for hours just made me feel numb and wanting to see one more funny photo. I got tired of achieving nothing. I still don’t want to base my life on entertainment or “to have fun”. I feel like I need to go trough a hard time to appreciate joy, or to get bored sometimes to get creative. But that’s just me.

So what’s happened six months later? Did I never ever visit the crap blogs again? I did visit them a few more times, I still do if I get extremely bored. But mostly I keep an eye on myself and try to watch out for that kind of behavior. I try to consume things for both my mind and my body that feeds it in a good way. I started the “Learning To Draw”-project on my spare time to get busy, and I’ve actually managed to keep up painting and drawing despite moving to a new city, changing jobs, health issues and travels. If I open up 9gag/Reddit or crap blogs today I quickly become bored and most of the time I don’t even remember that they exist anymore, when going online.


3. “About Creativity And Inspiration” with 252 views posted on 9th of October


A very personal post.

This post is a very personal post. I shared how it felt like when I was almost suffocated about a year ago. Luckily I got out alive thanks to my colleague, but It was very scary when I started to think about what could have happened. I had one more “close call” this autumn, and I might write a post about it or not. I remember standing on the subway, surrounded by strangers, listening to crappy David Guetta and thinking “how do you go on living when you know you can die. When death stared you in the face and you stared back?“. Well you do. You find a way, and if you live long enough you face these kinds of situations sooner or later. This spring I did some stupid things, and it’s only now I realize I was waiting for something bad to happen. I went to places and met people I should not be hanging out with. But that’s another post.


2. “Women In The Gaming Space” 496 views posted on the 10th of August


A post I knew I would write a some point since I see a lot of people who want a change for the better about this subject.

It’s a bit of a paradox that many people who search the Internet for “blade and soul babes”, “sexy video game chick”, “naked girls”, “young hot teens” and other totally NSFW search terms end up on my web site. One reason for that is this post I wrote about all those things that are not so awesome about the video games industry and how some of it’s members treat women or females.

It happens quite often that other game developers want to talk to me about feminism, Anita Sarkeesian, sexist concept art or just ask me what’s it like to be in a minority within my field. The truth is, I’ve had very few downright negative experiences. Of course I’ve seen my share of women in string bikinis at GamesCom, topless body painted girls doing commercials for payment providers and heard stuff like “but you can’t make games because girls don’t play games derp”. If you want to read my open letter to the game event Casual Connect click here. But really, most of the time people are super nice, I’ve never had problems with co-workers and I get along really well with both guys and girls. Nevertheless, there are real problems, and to me the gaming world is far from being a place where you can expose your gender and doesn’t expect it to be a problem if it turns out you are not male.

Sometimes I feel like I’m so tired of this gender talk I just want to scream. I sometimes get tired of being some kind of representative for all the girls in the world. I can’t tell you what all the other women out there like or dislike about games or gaming. I believe we should not be to focused on male/female, but to think more about respect and our fellow human beings.


1. “Self-Esteem” with 1 495 views posted on the 19th of July


Many people struggle with their self-esteem, and you can be sure of that those people you envy have as many problems as you do, to deal with.

Everybody got issues and problems, things they feel insecure about or inner fights with themselves. The only real difference is what kind of problems and how much we show or tell others about this. It’s easy to start comparing your life or job to others when it’s so easy to read blogs about how others are attending cool parties  posting nice photos of them at a beach in Thailand, or a cozy dinner with their sweetheart, or a Facebook status update about how they got their art featured in a magazine.

Someone once said, “when you tell yourself something bad or negative, stop for a second and think, would you say the same thing to your best friend?” We are often too busy feeling sad about things we don’t have, we forget to actually appreciate what we have right here and now. I feel like this is something that gets better, when you grow older. Another good thing to do is to stop overdoing blogs written by people who live “perfect lives”, or to  spend too much time on social media like Twitter or Facebook. A good thing to do is to find something you love to do, and to focus time and energy on that. Make something where you don’t feel like you need to be the best, you just do it because you love to do what you are doing. For me it’s drawing. I get a little uneasy when professional artists start discussing my work without me asking them to do it (sometimes I ask for feedback in order to improve my skills). To me it feels like Olympic champions discussing my latest gym session, if you know what I mean.

10 Most Common Search Terms To Find My Site 2012

  • “Encrypted_search_terms”  2 012
  • sara casen 68
  • “sara casen” 48
  • uffie 36
  • cute kittens 34
  • blade and soul 27
  • johan bernhardsson 25
  • frida tidning 22
  • funny pedo 20
  • junebud 20

A lot people searching for facts and info about Mojang’s developer Johan found their way to my site, which is a bit funny. Johan and I went to the same school and did a project together (with the Mojangsta Tobias Möllstam) in 2009/2010. The reason they come to my web site is this post about Mojang I wrote earlier (click here). The post got featured on Minecraft’s forum when curious players went hunting the Internet for the mysterious Johan Bernhardsson haha! Other search terms people used to find my site were: derp, skeletal systems, ola holmdahl, artistic photo sex doll, mass effect women and zombie pig.

This year has been a very exciting year, with travels to both Paris, Hamburg, Egypt, Finland, Norway, Denmark and Sweden. I experienced the fall of Junebud, went looking for a new job, moved from Malmö to Stockholm, started a new job, gained a whole bunch of crazy friends and went to places I should not have gone (but still I regret nothing).


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