Doing stuff you love is important, or you will grow a bitter cynic.

There’s not that many things that get me into a bad mood, or that really gets to me, that makes me angry and sad. The list is quite short: 1.People who don’t respect their fellow humans in basic ways like covering their mouth when sneezing 2.People who complain and do nothing about their problems 3. Folks that are extremely narrow-minded haters (like racists or homophobics).

So, in order to not turn into something I don’t like myself, I decided to take care of my problems. Today I went for a killer workout, had an epic meal at Texas Steakhouse and I intend to go to bed really early tonight (we’ll see about that!). The thing is, it feels OK to devote my time and energy to drawing and painting. It’s my adventure, and I feel like I already opened Pandora’s box a few months ago. I simply can’t close it, nor do I want to. I just need to find a way to energize myself and not brute force myself into grinding stuff night after night and end up with a sore wrist. I need to work smart, not hard.

Conclusion, I need to eat plenty of food, I need to sleep at least 8 hours each night and work out three times a week. I know I’ve been denying my body the exercise it craves since I moved to Stockholm for my new job. That’s really the only thing I don’t like about working in the game making industry; you sit in front of a computer all day. Luckily my employers, Paradox Studios, are giving all employees a stand-up table, money to buy a gym card and it’s even OK to take a prolonged lunch to visit the gym if you make sure you attend all meetings and deliver awesome content when it’s time for your deadline. I wish more companies would display such a great interest in their workers well-being.

Not to get too personal, but things have been really hard the past months. I had an all around the clock headache for two months, which made it very hard to get into my new job, or to act nice. When I went to the doctor they told me that it could be a brain tumor, and I got a time to the doctor right away. Ever since the summer of 2012 I’ve had problems focusing my eyes when looking at things, and being overly light sensitive. So a few scary weeks followed before the doctors concluded I it was just the muscles in the right eye that for some reason have failed a bit. They said it’s probably due to stress of some sort. 2012 was a really exciting but also stressful year, so maybe they’re right. The good news are that it’s probably not permanent! So I got special glasses, went for a splendid vacation to Egypt and returned to a kick some game-related ass.

The whole experience was terrifying, to hear you might have a deadly lump in your brain. All in all it made me even more dedicated at creating something lasting. To master a skill. It makes me happy to know I’m learning something that’s inside my brain. The ability to translate an mental image into something I can share with others. I don’t really care about things and stuff anymore. I don’t put too much value into items and physical things. I can lose all the sketch books in the world, and it wouldn’t matter, because the real treasure is inside my brain, it’s my skills.

Enough rambling, time to sleep! : D

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